Question of the Day: Where Do You Draw the Privacy Lines on Your Blog?

by Mandi on May 12, 2011

source: Nadia Prigoda-Lee

Privacy is a hot topic among bloggers, especially those who blog about their families, and it’s a fine line between sharing enough to be genuine and real and sharing so much that your friends and family are hurt, embarrassed or upset about it.

Today I’m wondering…

Where do you draw the privacy lines on your blog?

Do you use pseudonyms for your husband and kids?

Do you request permission before sharing a story that involves your husband or kids? What about other people?

Have you ever regretted sharing too much?

Has your view toward privacy changed since you began blogging?

Looking forward to reading your answers!

http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Kay/100001536570802 Amanda Kay

I post any and everything. I *might* change the name of a bad date but usually not. I post it all.

http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life Your Way

Do you worry at all about people getting upset, now or in the future?

http://www.facebook.com/people/Amanda-Kay/100001536570802 Amanda Kay

I post any and everything. I *might* change the name of a bad date but usually not. I post it all.
http://www.se7en.org.za Se7en

As a Mom blog I feel it is only fair not to mention my kids by name… I am thinking potential suitor or employer googling them… not that I ever publish anything untoward. When I started blogging I thought I would blog anything and everything and I know my readers would probably love a whole lot more of the inside scoop. But once or twice a year my mother in law does read my blog and I can’t wrap my head around writing something I wouldn’t want her to read… So my motherinlaw is my gatekeeper she virtually sits on my shoulder as I type and keeps most posts clean and wholesome… oh the mother in law post I could write!!!! Needless to say my mom is a big fan and I would never want to offend her with my grumpiness. That being said we live in quite a small town and quite a few people recognize us… kind of not many moms around trailing eight kids (!!!), most folk are lovely… “love your blog and all that” but once or twice we have had some say: “We know exactly where you live…” and it can be a bit creepy… So I am glad for the name free…though I love my kids names I would love everyone to know them!!!

So family keeps our blog wholesome, and the rest of the world keeps us name free… a small price to pay for the love of blogging!!!
http://www.se7en.org.za Se7en

As a Mom blog I feel it is only fair not to mention my kids by name… I am thinking potential suitor or employer googling them… not that I ever publish anything untoward. When I started blogging I thought I would blog anything and everything and I know my readers would probably love a whole lot more of the inside scoop. But once or twice a year my mother in law does read my blog and I can’t wrap my head around writing something I wouldn’t want her to read… So my motherinlaw is my gatekeeper she virtually sits on my shoulder as I type and keeps most posts clean and wholesome… oh the mother in law post I could write!!!! Needless to say my mom is a big fan and I would never want to offend her with my grumpiness. That being said we live in quite a small town and quite a few people recognize us… kind of not many moms around trailing eight kids (!!!), most folk are lovely… “love your blog and all that” but once or twice we have had some say: “We know exactly where you live…” and it can be a bit creepy… So I am glad for the name free…though I love my kids names I would love everyone to know them!!!

So family keeps our blog wholesome, and the rest of the world keeps us name free… a small price to pay for the love of blogging!!!
http://spabettie.com Kristina @ spabettie

great question… I rarely show photos of me or J… and never of friends (using initials for their names). If I had children I think they’d not really be featured much either. my dachshund is QUITE popular, though.

I like what Se7en said about mother in law on shoulder – SO true! I have many readers that are family or professional contacts, so… I keep it lighthearted. no big drama (not what I’m about anyway) and nothing personal. when the conversations are extended offline then I can be more myself
http://dominiquegoh.com Dominiquegoh

I use nicknames for my kids and keep my blog family friendly by not talking about topics that will bring in lots of opinions as I do know my family members- MIL, mum and sometimes grandaunts do read my blog.
http://www.balancingmylifeintechnology.com Abby Butts

I talked it over with my husband before I started blogging and I use our first names in posts and I include pictures. I try not to share the name of my step-son’s school, where he plays sports, and exact locations of where we live. My parents and in-laws read my blog and knowing they read everything is a good way to keep my tone and stories from getting out of line. For myself and my audience, pictures and stories are what they want to read about and see.
http://www.farfromflawlesslife.blogspot.com Missy June

I’m working hard to balance this issue. I blog about single motherhood and try to tell MY story. I try to respect the boundaries of my ex husband and protect his role as father to my children and their privacy. I do not reveal anything I wouldn’t think they will one day know. I do not share any last names and have fairly generic names for our children. My blog does not have a large readership at this time.

http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life Your Way

I really applaud you for this: “I try to respect the boundaries of my ex
husband and protect his role as father to my children and their privacy.” I
think you kids will respect that about you as they get older!

Anonymous

I have really struggled with this one since I started blogging last fall. On the one hand, I think including personal stories and information makes my blog more real and relatable. But then the cautious side of me wants to protect myself and my family by keeping everything private. It’s so tough! I don’t use my kids names (or my husband’s name), although I do tell their genders, ages, and grades if it comes up. I share the town we live in, but not the name of the schools my children attend or where my husband works. I try not to post pictures of my family either (although I have posted one that was just too funny not to share!). My view towards privacy has definitely changed. When I started I didn’t even want to share MY name! But, I got used to the idea and now share it all over the place! LOL! Great question, thanks for keeping us thinking about this important part of mom blogging!

Polly

http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life Your Way

I agree that our standards may change over time. It’s important that we be
intentional about it rather than just sliding that way without really
meaning to, you know?

http://twitter.com/HappyHealthyHip HappyHealthyHip.com

I really have stopped sharing stories that are not my own. In other words, if it’s about something my son said or did, I ask his permission first. Lately, he’s been saying, “No,” because he’s 7 and he claims it’s too embarrassing for me to be sharing things about him online.

I want to respect my family’s privacy and have really had to stop myself from blogging about things that relate to them specifically. My sons (and husband) will have the opportunity to share their stories when and if they want, but for now, their stories are not mine to tell.

Hardly ever have I posted pictures of any of them and never have I used their real names. Thinking ahead, my son won’t want childhood pictures of him to pop up when future employers (or his friends) search for him online.

http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life Your Way

I think asking our kids’ permission is really important as they get older!
http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life Your Way

I think asking our kids’ permission is really important as they get older!

http://twitter.com/kalynbr00ke Kalyn Comings

I usually let my husband read my posts before they go up, especially if they mention him in any way. It’s so beneficial to have another reader scan through your writings because sometimes you can have things taken the wrong way and you wouldn’t have known it otherwise!
http://ingidefyinggravity.blogspot.com/ ingi@defyinggravity

Great question. I blog about homeschooling. Lately I check with my kids if it’s OK to blog about a particular ‘story’. I use pseudonyms because it is my decision to blog, not theirs. DH is mentioned infrequently.

I try not put in too much detail that could lead to someone (yanno, those big, bad people out there) tracking down my kids identities.

But I blog the good and the bad; the trials and the tribulations. If you couldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t blog it, don’t Facebook it….
Teri

I think that there is a balance. I have referred to my kids by number since the inception of my blog. I do share photos, but my kids have been involved in community service campaigns where their photos were inclusive to that campaign. To be relatable, I think you also need to be real. I have asked my kids before I have posted certain things, but to be honest at the risk of sounding like I’m on a soap box…I don’t think “blogging” has anything to do with a standard of communication per se. I have 5 boys in a rather large age range, and to be honest, the things that I have heard people within their social circles who are parents, standing around openly discussing about their own children and others has been really eye opening! A proper communication filter needs to be considered whether in the flesh or virtual world. It hasn’t ever really been a major issue in our family, because integrity and character begin when know one is watching. If you show yourself to be trustworthy in anonymity, then I don’t necessarily think those close to you will wonder about what you’re choosing to share publicly with others. ;0)

http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life Your Way

Interesting thoughts, Teri — thanks for chiming in!
http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life Your Way

Interesting thoughts, Teri — thanks for chiming in!

Teri

I think that there is a balance. I have referred to my kids by number since the inception of my blog. I do share photos, but my kids have been involved in community service campaigns where their photos were inclusive to that campaign. To be relatable, I think you also need to be real. I have asked my kids before I have posted certain things, but to be honest at the risk of sounding like I’m on a soap box…I don’t think “blogging” has anything to do with a standard of communication per se. I have 5 boys in a rather large age range, and to be honest, the things that I have heard people within their social circles who are parents, standing around openly discussing about their own children and others has been really eye opening! A proper communication filter needs to be considered whether in the flesh or virtual world. It hasn’t ever really been a major issue in our family, because integrity and character begin when know one is watching. If you show yourself to be trustworthy in anonymity, then I don’t necessarily think those close to you will wonder about what you’re choosing to share publicly with others. ;0)
http://www.mamaworkinprogress.blogspot.com Courtney Buxton

This is a great topic. I use pseudonyms for my husband and kids on my blog and I never show my kids’ faces on A Work in Progress. I have a private blog that serves more as a family scrapbook, where I record the good and the bad – but not the ugly. I try not to use a complaining voice, because really – who wants to remember that? Yes, it is important to be real, but I always write with the thought of my children reading it one day. Will they feel over-exposed or used? Important questions to ask.

I wrote about this recently with a post titled: A Recent Graduate’s Thoughts on Facebook.

http://mamaworkinprogress.blogspot.com/2011/05/recent-graduates-thoughts-on-facebook.html
http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life Your Way

Well said!
http://yourway.net Mandi @ Life Your Way

Well said!