Self-Control: The Root System for a Good Life

by Jeff on January 27, 2011

The following post is from Jeff of My Super-Charged Life:

source: eocs

Do you have self-control?

Typically, we recoil at the thought of restraint. After all, we are free adults. We should be able to do as we please. However, sometimes what pleases us isn’t always what’s best for us.

For example, it is best to use self-control when it comes to:

  • Good personal finances.
  • Good health.
  • Good relationships.
  • Good work habits.
  • Good parenting.
  • Good spiritual life.

In just about every area of life that really matters, it is advantageous to exercise discipline and self-control. Often, we know what we should do, but we fail to make ourselves do it.

A great example of this involves losing weight. In case you just crawled out from under a rock, the secret to dropping a few pounds and keeping it off is eating less and exercising more. We know this. We’ve heard it a thousand times, but we ignore it.  Instead, we waste our time and money on expensive diets and programs.

Why?

Because these things often promise us fast results without having to deny ourselves of much.

Of course, this isn’t just a weight loss issue. We fail at our most important goals in life because we lack the willingness to exercise self-control.

Self-Control Is the Root System for a Good Life

Think of self-control like the root system of a sapling apple tree. The baby tree has to develop strong roots before it will ever produce a useful harvest. With good roots, it will go on to feed thousands with nourishing fruit for many years.

This is the same way that self-control works in our lives. It’s the root system for a good life. Self-control produces things in us like:

  • Patience
  • Discipline
  • Perseverance
  • Delayed Gratification
  • Loyalty
  • Contentment
  • Excellence

These virtues are all extremely important to accomplishing goals.

Without self-control, none of these things are evident in our lives and we will fail to achieve our desired results. We will not produce a bountiful and nourishing crop.

The Reason We Lack Self-Control

We lack self-control simply because we don’t exercise it.

Self-control is like a muscle. It atrophies from lack of use.

Why don’t we use it? Because we don’t realize our own strength. We literally think we aren’t strong enough to control ourselves.

Think about it. Why do you over eat, over spend and generally over-indulge? Does the devil make you do it? Are you a robot tethered to a remote control?

No. You are a person. You have a mind of your own. You decide what to do. You choose it. It is all up to you, you, YOU. The sooner you accept this, the better.

You choose to over-indulge because it is a habit that you fail to override with self-control.

Self-Control Is Necessary to Change

Self-control is essential to breaking bad habits.

You can think of habits as grooves in our brains and behavior. We stay in the well-worn grooves because it is easy.  That’s great when our habits are good ones, but what about when they aren’t?

We can use self-control to change. We can form new grooves, but this takes effort. We have to choose to push ourselves out of our comfort zones using our self-control.

Too often, we let our self-control weaken, from lack of use, to the point where change is very difficult. First, we have to rebuild our self-control before we can make significant progress toward change.

How do you do this? By exercising our self-control just like we exercise our muscles. We start with small hand-weights and work our way up to bigger things.

Embrace Self-Control for a Good Life

Self-control often gets a bad rap. You don’t have to give up all the pleasurable things in life. You just have to exercise moderation.  It doesn’t mean that you can’t do anything, you just can’t do everything.

Keep your self-control strong and you’ll always have the internal willpower to choose what’s best.

If you have let your self-control breakdown, then start rebuilding it by putting it to use in small ways until you can once again do some heavy lifting.

Self-control is your friend. Use it wisely.

What’s the condition of your self-control?

Jeff Nickles writes My Super-Charged Life to help people find success and meaning in their life. He has spent many hours researching these topics and loves making it easy for others to use the wisdom he discovers. Jeff is a corporate IT Director, but also has experience as an entrepreneur, consultant, training instructor, and military officer.

  • Myra

    Great gallery, Mandi! I love, love, love my Canon Rebel Xsi and would totally eat beans and rice if it broke. :)

  • Acpeeeps

    I LOVE MY ’82 F1, best camera Ever!

  • Renaysue

    You know I am loving anything on photography! Great article!

  • http://www.friendlyfrugalista.com Cara (aka Temberton)

    That is interesting! Can you imagine lugging around #1? My new camera is a lot like #9. It is fantastic! My regular point & shoot was stolen in late October and I didn’t get the new one until Christmas. It drove me C-R-A-Z-Y not having a camera, but I held out for a better one. :o )

  • http://thejoyofivf.blogspot.com Rebecca @ Unexplained X2

    A pink le clic…gawd, how awful!

  • Mary b

    Love old cameras! My DH is a photographer & has quite a collection of them.
    My 6 yo old loves using the Polaroids!
    My fave is actually the Argus you have in #3. I just turned to my left & smiled a little seeing his sitting up on the shelf.

  • Tan@ tan/green

    Very fun walk through the photographic past…my first was a hand-me-down 110 camera…don’t see or hear a lot about those!

  • http://www.kimberlys-cup.blogspot.com Kimberlyscup

    I’ve been using homemade for a few years, first as a liquid and now just as a powder. I’ve been very happy with it. In fact, I just made a batch this morning! Because I use it as a powder, I run in through my food processor to make the grated soap into a powder and mix it all thoroughly. The soap nuts do sound interesting!

  • Christy

    I use a liquid that I make from bar soap, washing soda and water. I use the Pampered Chef cheese grater to grate the soap. I make it up 4 gallons at a time and it costs less than 2 cents a load. I boost it with white vinegar when I get rags or clothes that are really dirty.

  • Bekki

    I have tried home made laundry soap so many times I’ve lost count. Everyone raves about it but every method and combination I have tried does NOT work. My clothes came out dingy, grey and still stained. We have hard water and so it is very hard to find a combination of ingredients that worked. Now I just make sure to measure out the detergent I purchase and it stretches about 4 months for out family of six.

  • Angie

    I love love love soapnuts!
    I just got mine.
    I have truly only washed 4 loads w/ them. I will never go back! They are awesome!

    My son and I are both very sensitive to soaps/ detergents & artificial fragrances.

    Laundry Tree lets you try w/ a money back guarantee.

  • http://twitter.com/Milehimama Lisa Stauber

    I used homemade laundry soap for years – mine was Zote, washing soda, borax, and water, and I made it liquid- but after getting a front loader after 6 months it stopped draining. When I took apart the filter screen at the bottom, it was full of undissolved bits of my homemade soap so now I use Greenworks, because it’s the cheapest non scented not-too-many-extra-chemicals I can get (because of high dollar coupons). My husband is sensitive to a lot of soaps, I’m sensitive to more, and I don’t like the thought of coloring agents or optical brighteners so that’s what works for us.

    When I had a top loader I’d let my clothes soak overnight in cold water + homemade laundry detergent and that really helped get stains out.

  • teres

    i’m afraid to try anything homemade for fear of it ruining my front loading washing machine.

    any long time users of homemade soap with front loading washing machines???

  • http://jennoreilly.wordpress.com/ Jenn

    I’ve been making homemade powder detergent for almost a year now but the biggest annoyance is that almost no where stocks washing soda, so frustrating!!

  • Savesum

    Having used homemade laundry soap for 2 years (both powder and liquid) and documenting the cost and usage/batch I still determined it was not for us. The cost savings was great and time commitment was small for the amount of soap made.

    One thing to consider is your water source and if it is hard or soft water. Also, where does your your gray water end up (septic vs. city sewer.) This may help you decide. We have soft well water and our wastewater goes through a septic system (brand spanking new – talking mucho $$) – in my opinion both of these things are not well suited for homemade laundry soap.

    As someone else mentioned it tends to gunk up the washer (I have a front-loader) – even when using small amounts. In addition, I do not want to have our new septic system not working properly just to save 1-2 pennies/load – I have found better alternatives.

    Also, my whites/lights started looking dingy. Even with using a laundry booster (Oxi-Boost, Oxi-Clean, Nature Bright, etc.) this did not help.

    Another issue; my kitchen and bath towels lost their absorbency. A major problem when you dry all your dishes by hand and the towels just push the water around. I do think our soft water was not a good combination with this soap – it’s great others find this soap works for them.

    I now use various other products (experimenting again) that I am very happy with:
    1. Soapnuts from Naturoli (excellent company, super products) – towels come out amazingly clean and absorbent
    2. Charlie’s Soap – also very good, leaves only the “smell of clean”
    3. Shaklee’s Fresh Laundry – also good, but not easily accessible and more costly

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for sharing these other alternatives that would be an option for those who find it not best for them to make their own detergent. I had tried it myself in the past and it did not work well for me either. I do have well water, so it may have had something to do with that. I will have to give these you recommend a try!

      Bernice
      Life… Your Way Moderator
      My latest post- There is a God and it isn’t me

  • http://www.sageandchocolate.com Kristen

    I am very sensitive to dyes and fragrances and have been bouncing back and forth on the subject of laundry for years. At one point I was using only baking soda and vinegar… doing some loads with just baking soda, some with just vinegar, and some with them combined together. That worked great for a while, and then my clothes started getting dingy.

    I switched to Seventh Generation’s Free and Clear line and was doing great with that for most (or all?) of 2010. It didn’t aggravate my sensitivities, my clothes came out great and if I ran out a load or two of baking soda didn’t hurt anything.

    Now I’ve switched to something else (but I’m not quite sure what?) because I developed a really nasty rash and I wanted to make sure I didn’t suddenly become allergic to the laundry detergent… I doubt it’s that and I may switch back.

    I’ve always wanted to try soapnuts, though…. the budget is pretty tight but I think I’ll go ahead and put it on my wishlist while I’m thinking about it! :-)

  • http://www.delightinginthedays.com Stacy @ Delightinginthedays

    This is a great post! I appreciate someone telling it like it is :) We are the ones in charge of our decisions.

    I love the analogy of self control being like a muscle. Use it and it gets stronger. Don’t, and it weakens. That makes so much sense.

    • http://twitter.com/jnickles Jeff Nickles

      Stacy – Sometimes we just need to hear things in a plain and direct manner. I love serving that need. :)

      I’m glad you enjoyed the article and found it useful.

      • http://www.delightinginthedays.com Stacy @ Delighting in the Days

        We are always talking to our 9 year old about self-control. It’s a struggle. Yesterday after I read this article I used your muscle analogy. It really clicked! Thanks a bunch.

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  • Anonymous

    Self-control is huge. It can make all the difference in the world which direction your life goes. And like you said, practicing self-control is the best way to get good at it.
    Bernice
    A break from our regularly scheduled programming…

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  • David Roaten

    I just ordered Soap Nuts from LaundryTree.com and will update this register when i receive them.  It would seem that i have a skin reaction to the laundry detergents on the market.  I am curious if this will help resolve that issue. Here’s to hoping (tired of itching / scratching)

    -Texas

  • Hypnotiq_sm

    please can you give me some of your solutions, im looking for a way to assist my dad who seemingly has a problem similar to you, like you he is tired too….

  • http://www.brookechambers.blogspot.com Brooke

    I started using soap nuts a year and a half ago. I adore them! But I’ve never tried homemade laundry soap, though I have friends who have and love it.

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